December 26

The anticipation of this shimmering season reached its zenith 24 hours ago. Christmas morning came with its wrapping paper and wide-toothed smiles, Bing Crosby and Nat King Cole and sugar-coated calories. It was wonderful, and now it's over.

I used to sort of dread December 26. When I was a lot younger, I almost immediately dreaded returning to school. Come to think of it... that part hasn't really changed. ;) The best part of the break always seemed to be before Christmas Day. There always was an abundance of purpose and joy in those days, and then the days afterward seemed dark and aimless- some people would consider that relaxing, but I've never been much good at that task.

This year, I'm tempted to feel the same way. I enjoyed the Christmas season so much. I loved preparing my home and talking about the menu. I loved visiting friends in Austin and then returning home to my babies. And the joy of Christmas morning with a toddler has to be one of life's best gifts. But, I'm not feeling down this morning, and I'm hoping that won't set in.  Here's why...

At the beginning of the Christmas season, I was listening to a sermon series on idolatry. In the last message of that series, the pastor pointed out that when we set our hearts on something that God could do for us, then, when that thing doesn't come to pass, we can begin to ask God, "What good are you?" I confess, I have felt this way for years. And each Christmas, as I've considered this thing that I want God to do for me, I have asked Him for a miracle. But as those Christmas days have faded into nights, and my life looks the same on December 26th, I've felt depressed, frustrated, and angry with God. I've thought, "What good are you? Isn't Christmas a time for miracles? Isn't this miracle according to your will? Why don't you come through for me on this?" This year I realized that I needed to just worship the Newborn King. That He is the miracle, and that I did not need to ask for more.

While I was in Austin, I got to sit down to lunch with three dear friends. They are my burden-bearers. Those who rejoice when I rejoice, and mourn when I mourn. We all agreed that as we grow in Christ and learn to walk in His ways (some of us, through some serious sufferings) we are amazed at how slowly He works. My friend said that she is realizing that what happens is that she will learn one new truth about God, and then look around at her life and realize that everything else is exactly the same- but she just sees it all through the lens of that one truth. I almost fell off my seat laughing because nothing could be more true. His ways are not our ways. He is not as fast as I'd like Him to be. In fact, sometimes He doesn't do what I want Him to do at all. And yet, He is still the best Gift, the only Gift that will really satisfy the deepest longings of my heart.

After the shepherds saw the baby Jesus lying in the manger, they returned to their fields rejoicing and praising God. I think most Christmases, I've been so caught up in the angels and the baby and the star (not to even mention Santa and traditions and presents and parties) that I have ignored the "returned to their fields" part. The shepherds weren't upgraded to a better lifestyle, they weren't regarded with more esteem, they weren't better rested or more healthy because they laid eyes on the Christ child. They went back to their fields, looked at their flocks, and everything was the same...except for one truth that they had learned about God.

On this December 26th, I feel the same way. Praise God for His Son Jesus, who was born to Mary & Joseph, was laid down in a manger, lived a perfect life, died the death I should die, was buried and rose again- that I might be restored to my Father and my King. Hallelujah! And Merry December 26th.