Today is a big day. It is my first official "writing day." Yesterday, after three months of hashing through the book of John and lots of cross references, I "finished" the research stage of my book. I put quotations around the word finished because I know that there is still a lot of study that will need to be done to fine tune the message of the book. For example. I am still craving at least two Warren Wiersbe books to help me understand how in the world New Testament writers know when David was referring to the coming Christ when writing a Psalm hundreds of years before His birth. But I digress...
By the end of the day yesterday, I had finished my "wife work" for the week, had walked my dogs, fed my husband, run a few miles and emailed one of my pastor's with the outline for my book. So today, though I've spent time drinking coffee and reading books, I'm left without excuse. It's time to write.
One of the books I am reading is a book by a writer named Anne Lamott. My brother gave me the book a couple of Christmases ago, and though it's sat on my nightstand all this time, I haven't read it yet. I'm weird about books like that. It's like I wait to see if there is a more "right" time to read them than the moment they are given to me. Maybe that's because I'm lazy. Or incredibly self-willed. Or maybe, just maybe, God has something to do with the timing.
Either way, I was reading Bird by Bird, by Ms. Anne Lamott this morning, and loved this lesson she learned from her father, who was also a writer (and who taught in a prison creative-writing program) Speaking of her father, she writes, "He taught us to be bold and original and to let ourselves make mistakes, and that Thurber was right when he said, 'You might as well fall flat on your face as lean over too far backwards." But while he helped the prisoners and me to discover that we had a lot of feelings and observations and memories and dreams and (God knows) opinions we wanted to share, we all ended up just the tiniest bit resentful when we found the one fly in the ointment: that at some point we had to actually sit down and write."
So here goes nothing, ladies and gents, I am actually sitting down and writing. I've learned this week that trying to do things in my own natural ability has results the equivalent of getting bird doo in your hair. I actually saw a lady running at Town Lake this week who had bird doo in her hair, which is why I use this as an example. There she is, out running, getting fit like the rest of Austin, trying to do what she thinks is right and good for her and is going to help her fit into the world around her when splat! a bird doos on her hair. She jogged past me and I noticed the doo and I wondered if she was even aware of it yet. Either way, the whole situation was just unfortunate for her, though I expect the bird found some relief.
I have been in similar circumstances this week. Trying to be bold and brave and truthful and working in my own area of expertise (words) to try to come out on top and fit in and make things right and make sense, I encountered the emotional equivalent of bird poopy being dropped into my life. I didn't feel so bold and confident afterward. Because I guess no matter how strong and confident and sure of ourselves we are on our own, life can still poo on us.
But God can protect us from such things. At least, it seems that if I weren't so sure of myself, but rather sure of Him, He'd help me keep an eye out for those circumstances that could get a little gross.
So pray for these eyes to see and these ears to hear and this heart to be pure and that through His grace, I'll write some words down that will bring Him glory and help people find the Way.